Are there others among you out there who approach the Holiday Season with greatly mixed feelings, or am I the only one? For years it has seemed to me that anything after about November 15 was a run up to massively unrealistic expectations and bruised feelings. As someone once said to me, why do we have such silly ideas about "family holidays" spent with people we make an active choice not to spend time with the rest of the year? Then there is all the stressful expectations about holiday decorating (for which I hold Martha Stewart, Pottery Barn, and all the Lifestyle publications directly responsible), parties, parades, ad nauseum. However, having whinged about all that, I now need to put on my Big Girl pants and face what's out there anyway.
Because I completely and besottedly adore my Grand Kids and daughter-in-law (her husband's pretty cool, too, but he's staying home to earn money while they are here), I have made plans to do all that stuff that I usually run-don't-walk from in other years. Also, because I haven't been able to arrange any really dramatic excuses (the darn eye doctor says he really can't do the lazer surgery until February ...) this year, I have agreed to play for several holiday excesses. The music is saved this year by The Leader of the Band selecting lesser known and older pieces appropriate to the Advent and Christmas season. I flatly refuse to play 'Up On the Rooftop', 'Here Comes Santa Claus' or 'Jingle Bells' ... and I'm old enough that I can't be forced to do so! And, for myself, I've enjoyed learning new/old pieces that are simply lovely to play. I stopped by a friend's house this afternoon to ask about singing/playing a book of music by Hildegard von Bingen (12th century Anno Domini); he was helpful and the music is great. Not a jingling bell to be heard!
We'll go find a needle-shedding tree to bring to the house and there is a tree-trimming party in the works with already-extended invitations, so I can't back out now. We're off to do the Candlelight Tour at Biltmore Estate in North Carolina (complete magic, that one) ~ tickets are already purchased, and I'm just cheap enough that I will go for that reason, if no other! Actually, I love the estate and have gone to the candlelight tour for several years running; it's always lovely and, if there is snow, it is breathtaking. The photographer is booked for the holiday portraits (I have threatened the G-Kids with all manner of unpleasantness if anybody shows up with a black eye; that was one of their father's party tricks in his salad days ...). The Grand Daughter and I have a date for cookie making before the aforementioned tree-trimming hoo-ha. I'm trying to get my head around that one. Let me state for the record: I do not bake. I cook. Baking is just too much like chemistry and I believe in leaving it to them as what likes that nonsense. However, the light of my life (one generation removed) bakes, so I shall attempt it. Grand Daughter is coming to music ensemble rehearsal with me (she has begun to play one of the instruments in the group, so she is calling this a job shadowing opportunity). Both Grand Kids are coming to court with me the morning of the day we leave for North Carolina. Their mother is off to the Salon de Beauty for running repairs and renewing friendships while we dispense justice in Decatur. I have extra judicial robes, we'll have to see how it goes ...
When they leave, I shall cry a great deal, then I will go to bed for about a month to rest!
The rather marvelous thing about all this is that we have no particular history for this occasion, so no expectations. This may be the first Christmastide we have spent together so we're making it up as we go along. We shall miss having their father and grandfather with us, but that may be the new normal, too. As I have learned to my cost, the only constant is change, so get used to it.
I'm off to Thanksgiving celebration tomorrow at Best Friends' house, with people to whom I am not sanguinally or legally related and who I love dearly. I give thanks for them, for the family I grew up with, for the life I have now, and for the blessing of the wonderful memories of the life(s) that went before. I have loved and have been loved; and that is the greatest blessing of all and I am thankful.
Best of the season to all of you!
"Did everyone see that? Because I shall not be doing it again." (from On Stranger Tides)
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